How to Handle People Problems

[A Devotion based on Romans 12]

"She gets on my last nerve!"

Nancy stormed into my cubicle, red-faced and breathing heavy. She was at the end of her tether with another co-worker, (Heather,) who had the nasty habit of blaming others for her errors. In addition to the blame game, Heather was adept at making everyone else look bad so she could look good at their expense. Over time, Heather had made an unenviable name for herself among her peers and it looked like she was getting away with it, because supervision seemed oblivious. Nancy, however, was her particular target. Heather took every opportunity to cast doubt and suspicion on Nancy and her efforts. Nancy was having trouble dealing with the flack.

Though retired for some time now, I reflected back on this situation while studying Romans 12 recently. Here are five ways Paul recommended handling "people problems."

1. Verse 12 - Be patient. This is not easy, but Jesus said, "In your patience possess ye your souls." (Luke 21:19) Through patience, we outwait the problem. Time is a great rectifier. You can rest assured the truth will out because God keeps good records. Things left in His hands have a way of working out for your good - He sees to that.
2. Verse 14 - Bless persecutors. Jesus devoted three of the beatitude verses to those who are persecuted. (See Matthew 5:10-12.) Some of the key words are, "for righteousness sake" and "falsely." He also said, "Rejoice and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward." Wow! That's contrary to the world's advice, which focuses on getting even. Paul said, "Bless... and curse not." Don't waste your time or your focus. Trust in and rest on the promise, "If God be for us, who can be against us?"
3. Verse 16 - Be humble. Don't be conceited. Don't consider yourself higher than others and be kind to those who are in low positions. Strive for balance in your relationships.
4. Verse 19 - Don't take revenge. Don't "recompense evil for evil." (See verse 17.) Leave room for God's wrath. Remember God said, "Vengeance is Mine: I will repay." Besides, what if you're holding a grudge but they have repented and God has forgiven them?
5. Verse 21 - Defeat evil with good. Overcomers will feed their enemy if he's hungry and give him a drink if he's thirsty - and in so doing, become a witness to him as well as against him. (See also I Peter 3:14-17.)

Now comes the rub! These five helps in solving people problems amount to a tall order. The flesh balks at turning the other cheek. Rejoicing over your enemy's come-uppance (when it comes) is a natural and very human reaction. At times, the only way we can muster up any patience is in the hopes that their come-uppance will make it all worthwhile.

So, how do we get our minds wrapped around God's idea of what should be done with people problems? The answer is found in Romans 12:1-2... A transformed mind - like the mind of Christ.

"I beseech you, therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."

With regard to Nancy and Heather - there came a day when Heather got caught in her own manipulations. Nancy was vindicated and so were several others. The playing field was leveled and peace reigned in the office for a while. But, people being people, a new set of people problems surfaced. For you see, as long as the flesh is here to contend with, we'll all need to return and revisit Paul's Holy Ghost inspired wisdom on how to handle people problems!